“I Am in Control of How I Fall in Love”
Coming from the queen of all things hopeless romantic, I used to think that life didn’t start until you fell in love. I also used to think that Twilight was one of the greatest love stories of all time because it taught me, when I was thirteen, that I had to not know how to breathe around my lover in order for it to be considered love. But what I’m beginning to learn is yes love is the most incredible feeling you can ever have. But that doesn’t limit it to a romantic feeling. Love is so vast and full and wide that it encompasses everything in your life that brings you true joy and happiness. I receive love from reading books, watching movies, doing face masks, dancing around my kitchen, going on stage, hanging out with friends, working out, EATING MY VEGETABLES! These things make me truly delirious when it comes to love. And I am currently not receiving any of those things from a significant other. I am in full control of falling in love. Doesn’t that sound kind of wild? I spent a lot of my time in my relationships putting my happiness, my self-worth, and my love in someone else’s hands. Only to be left feeling spent, hurt, and extremely distracted. Not to say that love from a significant other isn’t just as fulfilling and validating. Both are challenging. One involves compromising with another persons thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and the other involves fighting the demons in your head. But the thing about being completely in control of how you fall in love means two things.
1. You can be absolutely, positively, and shamelessly SELFISH. You get to set the time and pace. You get to pick the take-out. You get to pick the Netflix show and you get to be the DJ. No compromise. You get to take your time figuring out what you truly and deeply LOVE and what makes you FEEL LOVED.
2. You begin to learn a very important lesson; only you can give yourself the universe. That’s right, baby. You’re in charge and you have the POWER. You already have the tools to access what your heart needs. Being able to figure this out now can only lead to a more communicative relationship once you do find that special someone.
A lot of the time, we tend to lose that power in a relationship. We get so happy and
overjoyed thinking “YES I AM LOVEABLE, I AM ATTRACTIVE, IM SO GLAD I
BOUGHT THAT TOP BEFORE OUR FIRST DATE! ”, that this beginning validation consumes us. We forget that we were worthy before we bought the top. As humans, we all want to be loved. There is no use in pretending that that is not what we want. In fact, we should want that. We should desire to BE LOVE and spread love every single day. But this post is for those people who are trying to find it in other people before we find it in ourselves.
SO, what makes you feel deeply, unconditionally, irrevocably, IN LOVE? Leave it in the comments below!