1. The person i’m talking to has absolutely no idea who I am.
She has no preconceived notions of me and no ulterior motive. Her purpose is just to listen. As opposed to having a best friend you want to talk to about what you’re going through but always be annoyed you are going to bother them. I never feel like I’m bothering her.
2. The act of spilling my inner monologue to someone is just glorious.
I have a lot of thoughts that sometimes are just a result of anxiety and it helps me so much to be able to say it out loud just to hear it. Sometimes that allows me to recognize if it’s actually something to be worried about or fear getting in my way.
3. I don’t feel the need to bombard my friends with my shit.
When you carry around a lot of emotional baggage, as most people do, you realize it literally has to go somewhere or it will consume you. By having a therapist I feel like I’m constantly emptying myself so that I can be refilled with the positive things in my life and so that I can have room for joy and love for the people who I want to give it to. I have more room to love others when I am allowing myself to go through what I need to grow through.
4. I’m telling myself I am allowed to not be ok.
I am setting time aside to feel what I feel. I am not shaming myself or feeling embarrassed for sometimes having silly or hurtful thoughts. I am allowing them to come through so that I can work with them. By doing this I am being kind to myself.
5. I am talking to someone who is educated in how to deal with me.
For the longest time I told my mom EVERYTHING, until it got to a point when some things were better left unsaid. I used to tell my friends everything until I got to a point when their responses never truly satisfied me but made me feel like I had spilled my guts everywhere and I was desperately trying to clean it up. But when talking to a a therapist, she is able to give you a tool box on how to deal with your feelings. There is always something to learn and think about after every talk.
6. The Ah-Ha moments.
I’m someone who feels like for the most part, I know who I am, or at least I am always trying to make sense of why I do the things I do. But every now and then I have an Ah-Ha moment from my therapist because she is able to look at me with a fresh set of eyes. I’m able to get a new awareness of myself and realize that I am not done growing or truly understanding who I am.
7. It’s okay, if you thought you were over it but you’re still working through it.
We are all working through not becoming products of our past but instead using it to turn us into the person we actually want to be. But I have moments where the very thing I worked so hard to get through is overwhelming me again. And of course it frustrates me and threatens to pull me down a dark path of depression but therapy tells me that I can spend as long as I need to get through it and if I did it once, I can do it again.