I think we underestimate the power of friendships. We think that falling in love with someone is the thing that’s going to bring us the most happiness. We tend to rely on our partners in a way we don’t rely on our friends. We think our partners will understand us in a way our friendships never will. But who told us that?
Maybe all the movies that romanticize love or the friendships that turned into love told us that. Maybe we never grew up watching friendship be the main goal of the movie. Because if the girl doesn’t fall in love in the end what was it all for?
As you all know, I am a hopeless romantic. But I also love a best friend who you can grab a cocktail and stay up till three in the morning talking about life with. That best friend that you can look at across the room and know what we’re both thinking. That best friend who cries with you and tells you no matter what happened “that guy is a fucking jerk”.
Me. I’m that best friend.
And my friendships are everything to me. But it didn’t take me until “that breakup I never saw coming” to really understand how important they were to me.
After that my heart was closed off. I wasn't ready to commit to any kind of intimate relationships for fear that I couldn't trust myself to open up to the right person. So I immersed myself in my friendships. Being single allowed me the independency to only think about myself and what I needed in the moment and what I really needed was a pal.
So I hung out with EVERYONE. Every moment was an opportunity to get to know someone better. To stop thinking about my woes and heartbreak and immerse myself into my friends. To be a good listener and realize that I wasn’t the only person in the world who felt the way that I did. And I found so much comfort in creating friendships that I didn’t need validation from like I found I needed with my partner, at the time.
So I fell in love with my friends. People who I admired, respected, was inspired by, could make me laugh like no other, and people who I never ran out of things to talk about.
That is also real love. Even if there is no romance attached to it.
These people help me to be the person I am by giving me the space to dream and to desire better things for my life. These people make me feel like I can be anything I want to be. These people make me feel stronger together than stronger alone.
And when the boys leave, these are the people I’ll be staying up till three am with.